If you haven't noticed, I've avoided personal blog posts in the recent past but this one is a little different. It's been exactly a year since I brought Tequila home. It was a bit of an up-and-down stay for her and eventually she died in a freak accident. If she was still around, she would have been more than a year old today.
I haven't stopped thinking of her for a single day since she died and I've always thought of a dozen 'what-ifs' that could have possibly meant that she was here today. She was my little girl and always had unconditional love for me. I can't stop blaming myself for her death -- if I had come home earlier that day, if I had not secured her enclosure or gotten her a better crate, if I had ensured that she was without a collar each time she was unattended, she would perhaps be with me.
I miss her a lot, particularly today -- all I can do is hope that she's reborn stronger and fitter and is part of a family that can give her a healthy and happy life. I hope you can join me in this prayer.
2 comments:
This made me cry!I am so sorry for your loss.
My dog, jake, was very old, and on his last legs. My husband and son were away for a few days. Usually Jake would come sleep in the bedroom, but he was tired the one night and stayed in our kitchen.
During one night, his chain got caught in the register on the floor. I am a heavy sleeper and didn't hear him. I think he tried all night to get up and severely injured his neck. He wasn't dead, but he could no longer move. And at the end of the day, I had to take him to the vet.
It was the most horrible day.
And I'm sure I feel just as you do. If only he hadn't had his collar on...if only I had heard him...
And I don't think we will ever let that go because we loved them so much.
My heart is with you and Tequila this day. Thanks for sharing.
Your story made me cry, Melissa. Thanks for your heartfelt wishes. Yes, I feel exactly the way you do.
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