Corporate Drone

I receive loads of emails from different HR vendors each day and many of these emails are just corporate drone. I've decided to stop looking at emails that don't write simple English. If they can't explain something in simple language, then I guess they can't help ThoughtWorks.

Example email:

Hi Sumeet,
This is ___. I represent ___ which specializes in talent mapping & transformation.

In this regard we would like to discuss with you about your areas of interest and strategic growth prospects. Do let me know your contact coordinates for further interactions.

Looking forward for a mutually beneficial & long-lasting relationship.

talent mapping & transformation?
strategic growth prospects?
contact coordinates for further interactions?

It'd be so much nicer if this email was written in simpler language.

Hi Sumeet,
I represent ____ and we [simple description of what you do].

If you don't mind, I'd like to set up a call for us to talk about our services and how we could be useful to ThoughtWorks. Can I have your contact details?

Look forward to hearing from you!

Anyways, I guess I need to rethink my writing style too! Well, my favorite resource for plain, business English, is http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/.

Later Addition

President Patil's letter to Manmohan Singh (inviting him to form the government) has a sentence that reads:
Having regard to the fact that you head the single largest party and the largest pre-election alliance and taking note of the letters of support enabling you to command majority support of the newly constituted 15th Lok Sabha, I have the pleasure to appoint you the prime minister and request you to advice me as to the names of others to be appointed in the council of ministers.

Just kill me! Please!