Thursday, January 20, 2005

Debates

We were having this friendly debate as a brain break during our training session today and it didnt end up on a really friendly note, what with Kenneth getting a bit too intrusive and personal with his interjections and wisecracks. It started out as a debate between Rashmi and me. The motion was Marriages are a better option than Live-in relationships. Contentious as the topic was, people couldnt help joining in and it eventually turned out to be a four way debate between Rashmi, Myself, Shell and Kenneth. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and thats what happened to the debate that was otherwise progressing in a pretty healthy fashion. Well anyways, I stood forth on my stand in favour of live-in relationships. I havent ever been an opponent of marriage. But I believe marriage is an institution that one should be sure about, before stepping in. Nothing could be truer in the modern age, where men and women are increasingly independent and tend to have a set of beliefs, fundamentals that they hold dear to each other. Marriage without understanding, trust and assured compatibility, is nothing but a live-in relationship, with a legal paper indicating social ratification, attached. Such marriages are as brittle as live-in relationships, and when such relationships end unsuccessfully, they leave indelible scars. On the other hand, if one experiments with a live-in relationship, one has the option of easing in and easing out, without the burden of excess baggage. I share a love-hate relation with love itself, and I dont consider myself to be the right person to speak about an emotion like love, cos I feel I am a bit too practical for that. But then, it is but natural that people either married or unmarried, choose to live together, because they feel some kind of love to each other. And as far as my limited understanding of what love happens to be, goes, one wouldnt want any action of his/her to hurt his/her partner. I wonder how many people would agree with taking a risk of getting into a relationship, where one ends up hurting someone they love, when the relationship is unsuccessful. I dont know how much sense I made with that sentence, but what I want to say is just that a broken marriage hurts both the man and woman. OTOH, while a broken live-in relationship does hurt, it leaves both the man and woman with the strength to pick up the pieces and move on with life.

All said and done though, marriage should ideally be the culmination of any successful live-in relationship. And no live in relationship (where love is the motivating factor) should sacrifice commitment. There cant be an excuse for not being committed if you claim to love the person you live with, be it marriage or not.

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